Sometimes I think that I’ve forgotten how to just be. To sit still, to feel my presence, to hold my emotions and my state of being just as deeply and tangibly as I do my physical reality.
There have been lots going on at my end this past week and I have not found the opportunity to sit with myself, to truly be with myself, and listen to my inner voice. I’ve been too busy listening to others in the workplace, facilitating meetings, and smilingly smoothing ruffled feathers. I’ve been harried, running around all the time, between obligations and errands and things that need to get done.
I couldn’t take the time for myself. Not because I’ve avoided it. On the contrary, I continuously searched for those opportunities and windows of time to close my eyes, let my thoughts wander, and feel the pressure of everything on my shoulder.
Now, when penning my thoughts I can feel the enormity of life’s going on resting on my heart. I’m always there for everyone else, doing things for all the people around me, while ultimately forgetting that God has given me this body and soul to care for and nourish. Not just physically, yet spiritually and emotionally as well.
So many times we are busy caring for the people around us. We are devoted, loving, caring, and truly good people. Yet we forget to be there for the person that matters most. For the one body and soul that has been given to you and nobody else.
We think it’s a luxury caring for our needs. We surmise that our comforts, our peace of mind, and our stability are something that will be taken care of when “we have some time.” Yet the time never comes because there’s always something else, somebody else, someplace else that’s calling our attention.
It’s time for us all to take a deep breath, to drop every other ball we’re trying to catch for a few minutes. To love ourselves, to care for ourselves, and to be with ourselves. To find the time, to make the time for what really and truly matters. Because at the end of the day an empty vessel can not give of itself, and if there’s nothing left in us then there is no way that we can give to others.
As my fingers dance along with the keyboard I feel my eyes watering, my body relaxing and my mind releasing energy I didn’t know was there. I needed to hear these words, internalize the concept, to listen to my inner voice. Because at the end of the day nobody will care for me the way that I do.
It’s time for us to care for the person that’s most important in our lives, and that’s ourselves. It’s time for us to give that which we are constantly giving to others. Because it is time for us to tune in and listen to what our bodies are saying. We are obligated to care for it, love it, and sustain it the way we do for the people around us.
This week I will focus on giving myself the time, the space, and the rest that I need. It’s my obligation as a wife, as a soon-to-be mother, and as a person to care for myself so that I can better care for those I love.